Lesson 230: Handling disappointment

❤️ SOCIAL EMOTIONAL LEARNING (40 Lessons) • 🟣 D. Problem Solving & Safety

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Objective

I can talk about disappointment. I can notice how my body feels, use calm steps, and choose a next step when things do not go my way.

Materials

Mini-lesson — What is disappointment?

Disappointment is a feeling we get when something we hoped for does not happen.

Examples:

  • The game you wanted is not available.
  • A friend cannot come to play.
  • You did not win a race or a turn.

How disappointment can feel

  • A heavy feeling in your chest or tummy.
  • Shoulders that droop down.
  • Wanting to cry or feel like saying, "This is not fair!"

These feelings are normal. Everyone feels disappointed sometimes — children and adults.

Step 1 — Pause and name the feeling

  • Stop for a moment. Place a hand on your chest or tummy.
  • Say to yourself, "I feel disappointed." or "I feel sad about this."

Step 2 — Breathe and calm your body

  • Take a slow breath in through your nose.
  • Blow out gently like you are blowing a bubble.
  • Do this 3 times to help your body feel safer.

Step 3 — Use kind self-talk

  • Think or say: "It is okay to feel this way."
  • Try helpful thoughts like: "I can try again later." or "We can make a new plan."

Step 4 — Choose a small next step

  • Ask, "What can I do now?"
  • Ideas: play a different game, draw a picture, get a hug, talk to an adult.

Step 5 — Ask for help if needed

  • If the feeling is still very big, talk to a trusted adult.
  • They can listen and help you plan new ideas.

Adults can say: "I see you are disappointed. Your feelings make sense. Let us breathe and think of a next step together."

Picture strip: "From droopy to hopeful"

Guided Practice — My disappointment steps

You and an adult will make a simple chart that shows steps for handling disappointment.

  1. On a notebook page, draw four boxes in a row or in a square. At the top, write or trace "My disappointment steps".
  2. In box 1, draw a picture of a disappointment (for example, a game cancelled, not getting a turn, a broken toy). Add a short label.
  3. In box 2, draw how your body feels (for example, droopy shoulders, sad face). Label it "Feel" or "My feeling".
  4. In box 3, draw a calm step you can use (for example, slow breaths, hugging a toy, counting to 5). Label it "Breathe" or "Calm".
  5. In box 4, draw a next step (for example, trying again, choosing a different game, talking to an adult). Label it "Next step".
  6. Practise pointing to the boxes and saying: "I feel disappointed… I notice my body… I breathe… I choose a next step."
Tracing Pad
Tracing snapshot for print
Tip: As you trace, say a sentence such as "It is okay to feel disappointed. I can choose my next step."

Practice — Two ways to handle it

Use this practice to help your child notice unhelpful reactions and helpful coping steps for disappointment.

  1. On a new page, draw two big side-by-side boxes. Label the first box "Stuck" and the second box "Handling it".
  2. Think of one disappointment together (for example, "The park is closed" or "The game is cancelled"). Write or trace the situation above the boxes.
  3. In the Stuck box, draw what might happen if the child stays stuck in the feeling (for example, yelling, saying "This is the worst!", not wanting to do anything).
  4. In the Handling it box, draw the same situation but with calm steps (for example, breathing, talking to an adult, choosing a new activity).
  5. Ask: "Which picture helps your body feel calmer?" and "Which picture helps us keep going?"
  6. Together, circle or put a star next to one coping idea your child wants to try the next time they feel disappointed.

Quick Check — Handling disappointment

Answer each question about disappointment, feelings, and helpful coping steps.

1) What is disappointment?

Disappointment is a normal feeling when plans or hopes do not work out.

2) Which is a normal body clue of disappointment?

Our body can feel heavy, tight, or droopy when we are disappointed.

3) What is the first helpful step when you feel disappointed?

Pausing to breathe and naming the feeling helps your brain and body.

4) Which thought is kind self-talk when plans change?

Kind self-talk notices the feeling and reminds you that you can try something else.

5) You cannot play the game you wanted. Which is a helpful next step?

Choosing a new activity helps you move through disappointment.

6) You did not win a race. What could you say to yourself?

Kind words help you keep learning, even when you do not win.

7) When should you ask a trusted adult for help with disappointment?

Trusted adults can listen, comfort you, and help you plan next steps.

8) Which sentence shows healthy coping?

Healthy coping uses calm steps and talking to someone you trust.

9) What might help if you feel disappointed about a broken toy?

You can feel your feelings and also look for a small next step with an adult.

10) What is one big goal of this lesson?

The goal is to handle disappointment in safe, kind, and helpful ways.

Assessment (parent/teacher)

Exit ticket (student)

Next time I will practise…

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